Blehhh...

So. Our school is doing a musical. Actually, we're not just performing any musical, we're performing Miss Saigon. It is a good musical, a tragedy, but it's still good. However, for me, it's been ruined before I even started playing.

I play the alto clarinet in the pit band. You may be wondering what that is. It is actually just like a clarinet, but deeper (same shape and size as the alto sax, but looks more like a clarinet, more 'woody' sound). To begin with, I had never played the instrument before I started playing it in the pit band. There was only one clarinet part, and another grade 12 got that because she played in two musicals before and I had only played in one. So I got the crap part.

Well, it wouldn't have been that crap if there had actually been an alto clarinet part. But there wasn't. There was only a bassoon part. So I had to transpose the entire thing from bass clef and tenor clef into treble clef. That wouldn't be too hard if it was just one piece, but it is 35 numbers. THIRTY FIVE. Do you know how long that took me? A very long time. My clarinet teacher told me that the amount of work I had to do was ridiculous and if she had to do it she would at least get paid for it.

And what do I get for the enormous amount of work I have done? Rien. Nada. Nothing. A big fat, "Oh thanks Emma," for hours and hours of work and misery over this damn show. Not that I want to be paid or anything, I just think some kind of recognition would be nice. Some people (*cough*) clearly think that I am bad (which I am) but they don't understand how weird my music is, and that I never played the alto clarinet before this show.

My music teacher said that some of the music was actually written wrong, after I showed him a certain part that sounded really bad to me. So it wasn't even my fault. Just great.
The instrument that I'm playing is continually flat. There isn't anything I can do about it, since I don't know how to fix that, and based on how I fix my Bb clarinet's pitch, I don't think there IS any way to solve it.
And there are some parts that just sound wrong no matter what I do--blehh... I just want to hand my music over to my conductor and say, "I quit." However, that really isn't an option right now. I would love to have a huge actressy meltdown and threaten to do just that, but I'm not an actor and I don't do meltdowns. Haha.

I'm heartily sick of it, but I know that when I look back on it I'll be like, "Oh, it was so fun to play in the pit in high school." Ha. How great--rosy retrospection.

Well, I guess I'd better go, so have a great evening (it has to have been better than my musical-filled one).

E

P.S. Oh, did I mention? Got into my number one university today -- improved my night a little :D

♫ summer girl ♫

Hi.
So it's me again...procrastinating (unusual for me) but I've done all my homework. I know I should be studying --for that AP Psych test-- but instead, blogging my life away. I've recently been thinking about the summer a lot, I guess because I know I'll be free by then. Graduation seems so far away and exciting, but I know by the time I'm on my way to uni somewhere I'll be wishing I was back in high school. Mulling over my options: so many of them...

1. Go visit a very good friend of mine in Malaysia -- however, a 16-hour plane ride kinda puts me off because I tend to get very sick on planes (trust me) and it's not very pleasant. The thought of going to Malaysia is really exciting though and I would love to visit. Plus I would love to stay with her and her parents (all of whom I adore). And she and I get along quite well (I would say :) and she's stayed at my house for some long weekends so it's not like we would get sick of each other.

2. Go stay with my 40 year old cousin Ken, his wife Dawn, and their 3 year old son Ryan in Canmore, AB. They've already offered to let me live in their house, so that would be a definite plus. I would get a job there, which I hopefully would enjoy, and get some more good working experience. It would be really good and get me used to staying away from home. And I really love Ryan: he is the cutest! :)

3. Live with my cousins in Mission, BC: Christine & Greg, and their kids Lise (11) and Claire (9). I spent an absolutely idyllic week with them last summer which makes me want to go and stay with them this summer. I would work, and pay for my food etc. And I could make some friends and stuff which would be nice. Hopefully I'll have my N by then (if I EVER get it, ergh, wish I had gotten it earlier) and I can drive their car --if they let me! :D Plus it is closer and a climate which I am more used to, which are both definite advantages. I might want to go back to Vic if I need to do stuff, so then I just have to take the ferry. Easier than the plane.

Or I guess I could just stay in Victoria and get a job. That would be fine but I'm thinking I want to "branch out" --haha. I'm kind of leaning towards options one and three. They are the ones I most want to do I guess. Plus I want to take my MFR course (medical first responder) and also spend time in Victoria before I fly out to wherever I'm going in the fall. Still not sure yet -- Dalhousie, Acadia, and U of A have accepted me but I'm not sure if I want to go to one, if I did it would be Dal most likely. Waiting to hear from Mount Allison~really want to go there, I think. & I'm applying for the Bell Scholarship, I could win up to 12 000 dollars in tuition which would be so AMAZING. Anyways, I'd better go and study so thanks for reading! :)

E

utopia

it makes me angry
this racial generalization, it makes me stare
and wonder why
why we are judged by the colour of our skin
black brown yellow white
does it really matter so much?

Utopia: a place where we could mix
like acrylics on a painter's palette
all together, mingled, as one
a place so perfect-- could it ever exist
different and yet the same

pencil crayons in a Crayola box
side by side, they don't seem to have much
trouble getting along
we may not be crayons
but we could still show a modicum
of respect: they say it's gone
but we all know better

does it really matter so much?
black brown yellow white
why we are judged by the colour of our skin
i wonder why
this racial generalization, it makes me stare
it makes me angry

More songs.

16. You Don't Know Me -- Ben Folds (ft. Regina Spektor).
17. Witch Doctor -- David Seville.
18. A White Demon Love Song -- The Killers.
19. Such Great Heights -- The Postal Service.
20. We Go Together -- John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John.
21. We're Not Gonna Take It -- Twisted Sister.
22. Vindicated -- Dashboard Confessional.
23. Unstoppable (ft. Lil Wayne) -- Kat DeLuna.
24. Two Birds -- Regina Spektor.
25. Electric Feel -- MGMT.
26. The Sidewinder -- Lee Morgan & Horace Silver.
27. Shooting Star (ft. LMFAO, Pitbull, & Kevin Rudolf) [Party Rock Mix] --David Rush.
28. The Same Fire -- Bishop Allen.
29. Starstrukk -- 3OH!3.
30. Rest In Pieces -- Saliva.
31. Somewhere A Clock Is Ticking -- Snow Patrol.
32. Money Honey -- State of Shock.
33. Giving Up On Love -- Slow Club.
34. Hollaback Girl -- Gwen Stefani.
35. If There's A Rocket Tie Me To It -- Snow Patrol.

Sorry :)

My last post was kind of depressing, so I wanted to kind of cheer it up :)
Here's a list of some of the best songs ever written. If you disagree, that's fine, but this is my blog--so it's my opinions that count :P
Feel free to leave comments about your favourite songs/why you don't like the ones I have up/anything else you'd like to say.

1. Your Ex-Lover Is Dead -- Stars
2. A-Punk -- Vampire Weekend
3. No-One's Gonna Love You -- Band of Horses
4. Hey you -- Pony Pony Run Run
5. The Fear -- Lily Allen
6. Kashmir -- Led Zeppelin
7. Boom -- Anjulie
8. Tomorrow -- Avril Lavigne
9. Ring-a-Ling -- Black Eyed Peas
10. Rich Girl$ -- Down With Webster
11. Pick Up The Phone -- Dragonette
12. Replay --Iyaz
13. Telephone (feat. Beyonce) -- Lady Gaga
14. She Blinded Me With Science -- Thomas Dolby
15. Jump -- Nelly Furtado/Flo Rida

More to follow. :)
E

//I believe in nothing : not the end and not the start.//

So, today's rehearsal was not good. And I keep wondering, was it something that I did that caused them to be so unfriendly? What did I ever do to her, she's killed me a million times over and I can't even speak to her about it. I should have talked to her when it first happened, but I was too afraid then and it wouldn't do any good now, talking about it.
She could care less about me, and it's clear that she can still hurt me, after all she and they have done to me.
Just to clarify, she was my best friend. And now I have real friends, best friends, and they actually care about me this time. Still, she made me what I am now. I don't trust as easily as I used to. And I have a scar over my heart (well, not literally).
I want to hate her, but I also want her to be my friend still. I'm much better than I used to be though. You think this is bad, you should have seen me last year. That was not a good year for me.
I'm focusing too much on her. I have so much now: lots of friends, an amazing close circle of best friends, a boyfriend and so much more.
And yet I still want her to be my friend, to like me.

I think I'll leave it at that.
E

Annoying things.

So, my first rant. I think I will start with a list of things that piss me off. And I'm sure that I end up doing a number of things that will be on this list :) please don't judge. I'm occasionally a hypocrite, but I try not to be.

1. Lame spelling of words.
Please, people, it really doesn't take that much effort when texting/instant messaging someone to put that apostrophe or exra letter in. You really don't have to abbreviate everything. That is so redundant: for example, "can u pck up my pnecil cse". Come ON people. Like, is that really necessary? Does it take that much effort to just fix a spelling error when you see it and change it or if you spelt it that way on purpose, get real.
I mean, sure, it's fine within a certain boundary. For sure I don't always use capitals when texting and I don't always use 100% correct English, but at least I put some EFFORT into it. At least I try to make an effort so the other person doesn't have to sort through bad grammar, garbled words and no capitalization.

2. People who have a constant need to show off.
Come ON. This is soooo annoying: is it really necessary? I go to a private school, so at least half the people there feel the need to constantly raise their hands. That's fine, sure, but certain people are always showing off (e.g. W & R). They just need to realize that everything is not centred around them. Get real, guys. We don't need to constantly hear your (often stupid and banal) comments.
Raising your hand is fine when you have a point to make. Raising your hand to just talk about random crap you thought of is redundant and unnecessary. Please.

This list will be continued, so stay tuned for more ranting :)

Emma